GREETINGS, EARTHLINGS!

What does a highly advanced civilization have to do to get noticed around here?

We come from the constellation Canis Minor, but don’t worry, we’re not here to snatch your organs or drain your oceans for rocket fuel—that’s more of a Canis Major thing. Space is super lonely, and since you guys haven't cracked interstellar travel yet, you probably don't know the struggle.

So, we rigged up some garvanplows with flargenbows (and threw in a minoflor for laughs) to find some friends out here. For the past hundred years, we’ve tried to reach out, but no luck. Then, our top human researcher had a lightbulb moment: nothing is real to humans until it's on the internet. Thanks to your Venere tech, we’re crossing our fingers that the 321th try does the trick!

Check out our out-of-this-world threads and join our cosmic crew!

FAQs

We get it—your human brains are probably buzzing with questions about a bunch of high-tech space beings showing up out of the blue. Our Human Affairs Officer has got you covered with some answers below.

Our ship crash-landed in Charleston, South Carolina—just a little cosmic detour!
We offer discounts because we acquire our products directly from designer suppliers at wholesale prices. Sometimes, they produce more than they can sell, allowing us to pass on savings to you, our cosmic customers.

Yes, all our products are sourced directly from authentic intergalactic designers at wholesale prices.
Our products typically ship within 7 Earth days, ensuring swift delivery across your planetary distances.

We've been around since March 21st, thousands of years ago, when our civilization made a graceful landing here.
Refunds are granted only in the rare instance of defective products. Otherwise, all transactions are considered final within our galactic commerce policies.

DOWN

HELLO

THERE

FAQs